After a rough week or so I have finally got my head around not being able to attempt the walking London Marathon. Your head is a powerful tool, you just need to train it to take on the right battles!. I have never had to accept that I can't do something before I have even tried!… That was probably the hardest thing to come to terms with. I am not able to attempt this due to my medical issues, It won't and can't happen. HARD PILL that one!
So stop harping on about it as it will just be destructive for my head and recovery. I continue with the gym training to enable me to complete the 10k next year in Henley, walking of course. We have our first month meeting on Monday with the gym instructor to make sure my body is reacting ok and ok to continue as we are. We have done some small training walks with stops for a cuppa and we have a year to get to a point of being able to pull this off.
I have set up a fundraising - awareness page now and if you wish to read a bit of our story please copy and paste the link below into your browser, you can donate here if you wish.
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/purldesign
My health issues are now left complex but this gives and overview of the need to raise awareness of thrombosis and blood clots and the fact they can and do happen to anyone, any age, any gender, and fitness, young and old and everyone in between. If I can get one person to recognise the symptoms of a blood clot, then this bare all blog will have been worth it. I do think some days I don't like being so exposed, as usually very private and fooling people with a grin! but if this helps someone in some way then it will be worth it. I am unable to stand up and fight at present as the words elude me and I can't think, but maybe this will come, and when it does I will be on that pedestal speaking out!!!
So onwards and upwards!
Sunday, 23 October 2016
Monday, 10 October 2016
HOUSTON - WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
Well where do I start! Head in the right place, body not playing ball!… I gave the sign off document to the doctor and after a telephone conversation and a few more meetings after that, I cannot get them to sign the "OK" document to enable me to take part in the London walking marathon. I questioned them and went over and over, what if I do? what about? how about this? every option put to them was a definite NO. I really thought they would sign it.
So after long talks, its not going to happen as my chance of completing it are slim, my chances of being ok after are even slimmer. It is too high risk with my heart and post PE. They said with my current health looking at best of staying as good as is currently (which isn't too dandy!), as I cant be fixed or get better, my hope is to retain this level for as long as possible… its a bit of a bummer really.
I have always been and the military just reinforced it ,that you can do anything if you try hard enough, and if you are alive then it is still possible! BUT I need to understand that its not me who isn't trying its my body that physically can't… I am struggling with this process! … but its high risk for me to push my body, I didn't realise or accept how bad things were until they spelt it out really and told me in no uncertain terms the reality of what may and is likely to happen… really odd as I feel sort of able! (But that's the problem, people ask me to just do this or that - my head thinks I can, but it could and does sometimes wipe me out for long periods and I need to be careful as could be worse)
So after the talking to, I didn't take any notice obviously being me !!, I had to figure and process this devastating info, so I did a non stop training walk at average walking Marathon pace for 5.6 miles non stop (i do more than this but i stop lots of times and take all day) however I was really ill Saturday night which ran into Sunday and frightened myself ... I now understand that 26.2 miles isn't on my agenda, not now not ever... if I want to celebrate more things in life with the children (who are now adults!)!! SO back to the drawing board and have unhappily pulled out of the Marathon….
BUT I have found a 10k walking challenge in Henley along the river which is flat 9th Sept 2017 and I have entered this one with Pete, we will continue to go swimming and the gym (gently) and train for this and my future health and will set up a fundraising page for thrombosis UK … at least I have a goal and it shouldn't kill me which is a plus of course.
So another mental hurdle of acceptance and moving on to learn. And avoidance of the "you should be doing this" people who don't understand the complexity of the issues I need to navigate! So I need to concentrate of living my own life in the best way I can and tick off all the things I can along the way. My Henley will be my marathon!
So after long talks, its not going to happen as my chance of completing it are slim, my chances of being ok after are even slimmer. It is too high risk with my heart and post PE. They said with my current health looking at best of staying as good as is currently (which isn't too dandy!), as I cant be fixed or get better, my hope is to retain this level for as long as possible… its a bit of a bummer really.
I have always been and the military just reinforced it ,that you can do anything if you try hard enough, and if you are alive then it is still possible! BUT I need to understand that its not me who isn't trying its my body that physically can't… I am struggling with this process! … but its high risk for me to push my body, I didn't realise or accept how bad things were until they spelt it out really and told me in no uncertain terms the reality of what may and is likely to happen… really odd as I feel sort of able! (But that's the problem, people ask me to just do this or that - my head thinks I can, but it could and does sometimes wipe me out for long periods and I need to be careful as could be worse)
So after the talking to, I didn't take any notice obviously being me !!, I had to figure and process this devastating info, so I did a non stop training walk at average walking Marathon pace for 5.6 miles non stop (i do more than this but i stop lots of times and take all day) however I was really ill Saturday night which ran into Sunday and frightened myself ... I now understand that 26.2 miles isn't on my agenda, not now not ever... if I want to celebrate more things in life with the children (who are now adults!)!! SO back to the drawing board and have unhappily pulled out of the Marathon….
BUT I have found a 10k walking challenge in Henley along the river which is flat 9th Sept 2017 and I have entered this one with Pete, we will continue to go swimming and the gym (gently) and train for this and my future health and will set up a fundraising page for thrombosis UK … at least I have a goal and it shouldn't kill me which is a plus of course.
So another mental hurdle of acceptance and moving on to learn. And avoidance of the "you should be doing this" people who don't understand the complexity of the issues I need to navigate! So I need to concentrate of living my own life in the best way I can and tick off all the things I can along the way. My Henley will be my marathon!
Thursday, 6 October 2016
HARD DAY
Had a hard, very early start day with an appointment for my knee at the hospital 8.40 left at 7.30am, then had to muster enough "I want to go to the gym" vibes….which was very VERY difficult, really didn't want to go, really didn't want to do it! Thought when i got there it would be fine but went throughout he motions and completed the task (and the task seemed like climbing Mount Everest (never done that tho!lol)) thinking I would feel better that I actually did it… but if I'm honest I thought…crickey, that was harder than i thought and really don't feel full of beans now Ive done it! So today done but not the most positive committed day Ive ever had ha ha… I rather get up and get it over with then to work!… SO nothing to report really except I have handed in my document for the doctor to sign to say I can attempt this challenge, I have been turned down previously but i am hoping as i am 11 months on from the initial and 6 months on the second serious situation that she will sign it for me to be a confirmed entrant. We will see!! She may sign with a caveat! I don't care so long as she signs it this time :) Here's to tomorrow!
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